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To appease the great Gods and offset some of the leg-pulling that I am so tempted to write, it is occasionally prudent to write some sickeningly sycophantic text about their magnificent feats at the bridge table. When one of the Celtic Gods, a player with a mischievously sarcastic sense of humour who is not prone to dish out lavish praise, decides to tell a tale of glory about his partner, then I am compelled to take notice. So if you are successful with today's deal, you may apply immediately for elevation to the status of deity.

Right, that's enough rubbish for at least a month - on with today's hand.
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