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Last night I was again thrown into battle with the esteemed cardiac surgeon. If you think I'm going to say anything nasty about this wonderful warm, generous man who also happens to be a bridge player deserving of a partner of Zia's calibre sitting opposite, then you have another think coming.

Imagine the scene: there I am chasing around the 5-a-side pitch when there is an agonising pain in my chest. I am whipped off to Leicester where I am told that I need a quadruple bypass immediately. Mr. Haider has been assigned to the job and is scrubbing down already. I am woozy from the pre-med, and as he leans over to tell me about the op. he adds "What was it that you wrote about the ox opposite butchering that 6?".

Oh no, Yasser was Garozzo-like!
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